The Chaotic and Insanly Lost Wedding Of Marluxia
by HeartsGuardianSoul L.D.C
Summary: Its Marluxia's wedding day. But with only hours to go chaos breaks loose. Axel is pranked, Zexion & crew have to get a rod back. Roxas is babysitting Xenmas... And much chaos is to ensue. On Hiatus.
1. Pain of Love

I just want my friends to know that i am still alive and uh yeah i don't own kh.

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Chapter 1: Pain of Love

Marluxia and Fexane were sharing a deep and passionate kiss, for you see this would the last time they would see each other before the wedding. They broke apart and tared in to the other's eyes... "Well..." Marluxia said quietly... "This is it." He said turnig around.

"Darling do not what ever you do turn around once you have turned away from me." Faxane's word echoed in his head. he got al the way to the door but he just had to look at her one last time... He turned only to be blinded by a mirrior she was holding tilted to catch the sun. marluxia screamed in pain and yelled, "Why did you do that for?!"

"The bride cannot be seen by the groom for 24 hours before the wedding. to I figured that you would turn so I took a precaution."

"Fexane you've blinded me!"

"Don't worry love it will wear off in a couple hours." she smiled at him and went inside. Marluxia opened a portal and tumbled through. He slowwly made is way throught the Never Was hoping to make it to the dinning room by sound he was almost there when he made a sharp turn and fell down the stairs. He tumbled down three flights of stairs before landind on the poor and unfortunate Ixivio. All Marluxia heard besides a scream was a nice loud snap.

"What was that?" he asked.

Zixovi came out of the dinning room and stared with a raised brow. Marluxia repeated himself. "Well Marluxia it appears that you have killed Ixivio."

"What?" Marluxia said quickly getting up, as he did he heard another snapping noise.

"No harm done I'lll be okay." Ixivio said snapping his neck back in place. "Marluxia look at me." Ixivio said grabbing the man's chin. "Since when have you been blind?" Ixivio frowned.

"About a half hour. I made the mistake of looking back at Fexane and disobeying oreders."

"Come on..." Ixivio grabbed his elbow to lead him out of the hall. He stopped next to Zixovi and whispered, "Go ahead and tell the older guys to cancel their stripper. it's going to take me about two hours to fix his eyes."

"Aw man..."

"What are you groaning about? We weren't allowed to see her anyways and you know it."

"But I personally cut that hole in the wall just for it! I even had the camcorder set up and all!!"

"Just shut up now Zixovi, or I'll tell Zexion about the Balckmail stuff you got on him."

"Right and I'll tell Axel how You've got a copy of his Diary."

"So do you!" Ixivio yelled at his nobody as he pulled Marluxia into a room.

In the dinning room...

Axel scoffed as he drank some more brandy. he was lsing badly in the game of poker. Strip poker. He was currently in his boxers and was looking at his patheic cards. Two kings and two fours were not going to save himself fromluxord who was still currently fully clothed. _Damn it why did i do this when I knew I would lose?_

The curent contenders at the table were Xigbar, wearing just a tie and breifs; Xaldin, wearing...lingerie. No comment. Anyways continuing on down the line... Roxas was faring better than the older members since he was wearing a t-shirt ans a pair of blue jeans. Zexion was donning a blanket and heading to his room, grumbling because Luxord had his clothes and was wanting two hundred money for his cloak back alone. Zixovi came in and announced the problem just as the timer in Axel's pokect rang. He leapt up just as Luxord dealt his last card. he swiped it up and cheered "Full house!"

Luxord groaned and said, "Royal flush."

"Damn it!" Axel Yelled as he stripped off his boxers and went to pull his cakes, al natural.

"Muahahahahahahaha!!!!"

"I'm out. I'm not losing the only decent looking clothing I own. Keep the cloak I have eight more." Roxas left the room dragging Xenmas away from the Ps2 and pulled Zixovi out as Axel brought in one of the cakes...

Sometime Later Like An Hour...

Marluxia was lying on his old bed while Ixivio worked on his eyes."Tomorrow is going to be so perfect."

"Say Marluxia I was wondering, since Xenmas was turned into a kid, who is going to be the best man? Afterall Fexane was saying something about making him the ringbarer."

"OMG! I totally forgot about that!!!" Marluxia groaned. "I can't have the Ringbarer be my best man!!! What the heck am I gonna do?!"

"How about Axel?"

"I'm already paying him to make a real cake.Plus the feast."

"Zexion?"

"He's the Preist."

_I cannot see him doing that. _"Demyx?"

"Head of the musicians."

"Xigbar?"

"Security. I... made some enemies back in College."

"Didn't you just graduate?"

"Yeah... but still..."

"Right... Xaldin?"

"Hell no." Marluxia shuddered.

"Luxord?"

"He'd make me self myself into slavery."

_Somehow I can see that happen..._ "What about Roxas?"

"I'm sure he doesn't want to..."

Roxas heard his name as he passed the door. "Whatever it is i'm not interested." he said poking his head in the door.

"See I told you so." Marluxia said bliking. "Say I can see some."

"I'm almost done Close your eyes for just a second." Ixivio finished. "There I'm done."

"Good." Marluxia reached into his cloak and pulled out a small blue address book. _Dare I open it?_


	2. The Book & Treachery

Hello everyone meet Eris my newest OC!

Hi!

He's just hanging out here until I finally decide on what story to put him in. besides, Dehia--Zombie D has taken off to the underworld to hang out in Hades' colloseum. Say the disclaimer.

Eris smiles- D.C. doesn't own kindom hearts or any othe random thing that belongs someone else. however she owns the Original Characters: Ixivio, Zixovi, Lumaira, Fexane, and she half owns Learith. Learith also belongs to Learith The Potao Chip Fairy. Ask If you want to Borrow them. LightsDarkChild Loves Reveiws, so if you want to do so. It is very Appericated and I would love it very Much... For the love of God do I have to say all of this????!!!!!-- Eris turns to D.C. who of which is snoring.

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Chapter 2: The Book & Dastardliness

_Dare I open it?_ Marluxia stared at his book a sense of dread comming over him. _Well... its not like i have a choice. its eiter this or Xaldin and I'm making sure he gets locked in the looney bin for tomorrow... maybe longer..._

"Uh... what's the book for?" Ixivio raissed a brow as dramitic music began playing in the background.

"This is a list of people I've met over the years."

"Right... but are you sure you want to open that?" Marluxia nodded and took out the highlighter. "Let's begin..."

Meanwhile down stairs with the guys...

Well let's just say that they are having a good time and leave it at that.

Moving on to Zixovi...

He had just gotten Xenmas to bed when an evil idea came over him. He teleported to the lab and pulled out Vexen's book of dastardly ideas. He flipped to the index and began searching out The One. Finally he found it and flipped it to the page. His evil laughter rang throughout the castle bringing dread to the few that paid attention to his laughter. "Muahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!"

"What you laughing at?" Learith popped up next to him. Zixovi shrieked and began to whack him. "Damn it Learith you should be glad that I left my swords upstairs in my room or I would maim you!!!"

Learith laughed. "Look I came to cause mischief. So far I've found nothing worthy of me."

"Hey this is _my_ Dastardly Idea."

"Uh the book says _Vexen's book of Dastardly Ideas_." Learith pointed out.

"So? I found it first."

"Oh come on don't hog all the fun." Learith whinned going chibi on him and doing the accursed puppy dog eyes.

Zixovi sighed and caved in. "Fine. But we need to do this fast, we don't really have a lot of time."

"Zixovi... ain't you the Master of the Blades of Time?"

"Oh yeah... I guess that means that i can stop time..."

One minute later...

A/N: Don't you just love Timeswords and Time controlling powers? They just cut down on pointless scientific mumbo jumbo. Yay!

"There its finished." Zixovi declared taking off his goggles.

"Dude... where did you get these lab coats and stuff?"

"Off some psyco hag named Ysma." Zzixovi shrugged. "Come on we've got to slip this into the Pyro's drink."

"Uh... how?"

"Where there's a will there's a way." Zixovi grinned.

Um... in Marluxia's old room.

"Hey Al, whats up? How's the alchemy thing going? Hm? Oh you're still searching for your brother? Oh... say did you get my wedding invite? Yeah to Fexane... yeah the scary one that was beating the shit out of what's his face. I could meet you... Oh. No that's okay. I understand. well see you around okay? Bye."

"So that's a Negative on thirty-one. Let's see the next one on the list is... Lumaira." Marluxia groaned as soon as Ixivio said the name. "What you don't like him or something?"

"No that's not it. Lumaira is my somebody. He and I don't get along so well... not after this one incident." Marluxia dialed the number. It rang on for about seven rings when it was finally answered. "H-hello?!" Lumaira's voice (a double for Marluxia's) yelled into the phone.

"Hey! It's me Marluxia!"

"Yeah I can te--- Hey watch it!"

"I called to ask if you were going to come to my wedding tomorrow."

"Marluxia now isn't the best time in the world... Damn it! will you quit trying to kill me?!!"

"Anyways... " Marluxia said continueing on ignoring the sounds of fighting on the other side of the line, "I was wondering if you could be my best man? my last one had a... predictament come up, and he is unable to do it."

"Hey do you remember Raula?" Lumaira yelled.

"Uh duh how could I forget that Blood sucker?"

"Say hi!" Lumaira tossed the phone to his assailant.

"Hello?" Raula said into the phone. "I'm sorta busy trying to kill someone here!"

"Uh... could you put Lumaira I'm stealing your phone so that I can track him."

"Please don't do that I don't need the don showing up at my wedding to kill me."

"You said that your wedding's tomorrow right? Oh wait Lumaira's got the invite... Alrghty then we'll see you tomorrow at 10:00 p.m." Raula hung up the phone.

"Argh!!!!! I so don't need this!" Marluxia cried into a pillow.

Downstairs in the Kitchen...

Axel was making more cakes to complete his masterpiece, when Zixovi came in with Learith. Axel Blinked and found Zixovi sipping on some soda (Yes! he has allowed the return of sugar!) "Give me one of those." he said snatching the one from Leartih.

"Hey that's mine!"

"And? You're not even supposed to be here!"

"And? wouldn't you perfer me over Sora and the others? At least I'm not trying to kill you... yet." Learith said with a smile. Axel sighed and just took a swig of the pop. He frowned and took another chug. "Huh. That tastes funky... " Axel took about four steps and he passed out.

"Well I don't want to wait here any longer than i have to for results... could you speed things up for him Zixovi?"

"Damn it. What am I? Your very own Timekeeper?"

"Maybe..." Learith grinned as Zixovi sped things up for our dear Pyro. There was a loud Poof and Axel was...

Zixovi stopped his mojo, and kicked Axel awake. "So you decided to join the world of the living."

"Dude... my head hurts..."

Learith couldn't hold in his laughter anymore. "Bwahahaahahahahaha!!!" he roared. His hair was a convienant pink. (It changes color depending on his mood.)

"What the hell is up with you?" Axel rubbed his chest. It was sore... _Wait a bloody minute..._ he thought with wide eyes. He ripped open his robe. "WHAT THE HELL????!!!!!!" he screamed in a high pitched altro. Or should I say _**she.**_

"What the Hell did you do to me????!!!" Axel screeched. It was about this time that the door to the dinning room burst open and the other older members burst in. (Luxord, Xigbar, Zexion and Roxas.) They all stared at Axel...

"When the stripper get here? I thought that we cancelled." Luxord stared at Axel's bare chest.

Zixovi, beet red, handed Axel a towel. "Uh guys... this is Axel."

_**"What?!**_**"** Everyone stared at him/her...

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End of Chapter 2 

Ehehehe I am mean... D.C. laughs

Eris: Next Chapter previews Axel is fitted for a skirt and the announcement of the best man...

Reveiw!!!!!!!!


	3. Curse this comuter

Eris: Hey evryone what's up? D.C.'s not around so I'm here delivering her works for her. Late night reading. She didn't go to bed until day break. Anyways here is chapter 2 3/4! I won't ask...

D.C.: Eris!!!! What the heck are you doing?! Give me back the controls!!! What the hell did I tell you about mucking with my brain?!

Halex pokes her head in to stare at the mess before her. --I came out of meditation to find you and some pretty boy fighting over the damn computer.-- Halex graons an K.O.'s both of them. You know the deal with the disclaimer: Unless D.C. suddenly becomes Nomura-san she doesn't own it.

P.s. I'm sorry if it seems short. Limited time.

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Chapter: 2 3/4 A Pointless chapter...

"Since when did Axel have..." Roxas trailed off staring at Axel who was deep red with fury.

"Such big knockers..." Xigbar whispered. Roxas clobbered him. "She's still my best friend you ass."

"Luxord... I know that you have all of those clothes from the poker game how much do you want for Xaldin's clothes?" Zixovi said still blushing

Luxord stared at Axel thinking hard. A Shoulder Heartless appeared on both sides. He has no Shoulder Angel. Why? Because back a few years his Shouler Angel was attacked by Demyx's Shoulder Heartless when it suddenly went insane due to the fact that _no _one can Demyx for too long... Anyways the Angel became a heartless. So right now they were both clamouring on about prices and what would look hot on Axel (God Help us). Finally Luxord reached into his cloak and pulled out a sailor fuku.

"How much do you want for the shirt?" Zixovi grimmaced when he saw the look on Luxord's face.

"Well... I'm not sure I really am tired how about I take... Him." He pointed at Learith who was still laughing maniacally. Learith stopped laughing and was about to dart when Zixovi whipped out his dagger Earth's Hour (he picked it up earlier...) and hollered "Freeze!" Learith froze in midstep.

"Nice." Luxord nodded his head.

"Only for one day. I will only let you make him your slave for one day. Got it memorized?"

Axel who was currently rocking back and forth whispering 'This isn't happening', broke from her memora to say, "Hey that's my line!" Axel protested. "See? I've even got the copyright!" she pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket.

Luxord frowned thinking on the deal. "Sure why not? I've got a bunch of those Dears back at the casino." Luxord stuck out his hand. Zixovi shook it and took the shirt. He handed it to Axel and helped her to the Pantry of Chaos. "Wait for a minute." he told her and went to unlock Learith, but not before grabbing a bottle of brandy.

As he walked back in he clobbering the Xaldin in the head and k.o'd him. "Luxord I just need your slave for just a minute." he said taking off Xaldin's bra.

"For what?" Luxord inquired raising a brow.

"Well do _you _know how to put one of these things on?" he held up the green bra.

"Eh... no and I doubt he does either."

"No but we can trust Learith not to take advantage of Axel. He only likes guys."

"Um... maybe I don't want him as payment."

"Too late you already shook on it." Zixovi grinned. "Besides you're much too old for him. Well I guess that he might like your money..."

"Noooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!! Not my money!!!!" Luxord screamed tears comming down his face.

Zixovi snapped his fingers. Learith glared up at him. "I hate you." he said his hair raven.

"Well here's the deal. You are Luxord's slave for the rest of the day. Give him hell. But before you do that I need you to go help Axel put on her _bra_. " Zixovi smirked.

Learith shook his head trying to hide his merriment. He went into the Pantry. Axel death glared at him. "What do you want?"

"Hello I am Learith your stylist. Now sit there and I will totally transform your look."

Over at Castle Oblivion

"Are you sure about marrying Flower boy?" Laxene yawned as they played Soulcalibur 3.

"I do love him. He's kind, sweet, handsome, strong..." Fexane sighed.

"Fexane Ithink you're over doing it." Fenae sighed as she relinquished her controller.

"No I am not."

"Flower boy is queer." Larxene protested.

"Like you have room to talk. You have the hots for the crossdressing queer. Say Larxene did you check to make sure that he wasn't on the child molesters list?" Felixa jeered.

"So. Your somebody's a guy for heaven's sake!" Larxene snarled at Felixa.

"Look bitch at least I can catch a real man."

"Tomboy you think you're all that don't you? well you're not so ha. Give m e that controller. Let's settle this old school style."

Fexane groaned. _This is going to take a while._ she thought as they began making their custom characters.

Back at the Never Was w/Marluxia & Ixivio

Let's just say that Marluxia is now desparate. He had run out of numbers in his blue book and had went on to the greater DeepDive District phone book. After he had run out number in the phone book he whipped out his college year book (From freshman year he had quit after that for reasons yet to be explained at a later time), and had finally come to the Mudibachi Trio. But he only had Shigure's number.

"Hey Shigure... no it's not him it's Marluxia... From College... Anyways I'm looking for Ayame. Do you have his number? Thanks..." Marluxia hung up the phone. He dialed in the number. "Hello? Ayame? Hey it's me Marluxia. Remembe the guy that you used for a manican? Anyways I'm in a pickle, and I was wondering if you could help me out. Well it's like this: I'm getting Married tomorrow, and my best man can't make it. So I was wondering if you could be my best man. you can bring a few guests if you want but please I'm begging you. You are my last choice. It's either you or I have to bring a pediphile back from the grave and i'm sure that will raise a bit of trouble... I believe you remebmer Raula... "

"Tomorrow at 10:00p.m.? Sure."

"Really?!"

"Yeah why not? I'll just close the shop early tomorrow."

"Thank You!!!" Marluxia said tears of joy flooding his eyes.

Downstairs at the Pantry's door.

The door open slowly and Learith poked his head out. "Gentlemen prepare your selves for the new and improved Axel...

Please don't kill me Firestom Studios! I couldn't help the cliff hanger. I've got to get off the computer. To anyone that cares: PLEASE REVEIW!

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My thanks to Firestorm Studios, GoldenTalesGeek, Spoonlord 15, and Chaxra-san for reviewing. I wish I could give you Plushies but I Lost a bet with Luxord... 


	4. Zexion You're a Preist?

a quick one... um... I'll tittile it 2.97

Same thing on the disclaimer thing ok?

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Chapter 2.97: Zexion You're a Priest?

Zexion was upstairs trying his darnedest to ingnore the group downstairs... what the hell were they up to? he thought as he rubbed his temples. He looks up as the door opened to reveal none other than Kronos, leader of the Forgotten. Zexion sighed mentally and said, "What do you want?"

"I just came to see what's up. Say I heard that you're gonna be the Preist at tomorrow's wedding."

"Yeah. And? What of it?"

"I didn't konw that you were a preist."

"I'm not."

"So then you're gonna fake it?"

"No. But since I'm the technical leader since Xenmas is now under age I am allowed to marry those I see fit."

"No you're not."

"What do you mean?"

"I said no." Kronos smirked at Zexion.

"And who made you boss of the W.T.N.W?" Zexion glared at Kronos.

"The _what?"_ Kronos stared at him.

"The World That Never Was."

"No one. Yet." Kronos said starting towards the bookcase behind Zexion. "However, I have read in some one sets of the Laws of our fine world that in order to rule this world the one that is to become the new ruler will onnly gain the respect of the people, by killing of the Old Leader... But then you didn't kikll him did you? there fore you're not the true ruler of this World..." Kronos said airily as he pulled out a slimm pocket knife. "But you see..." He hissed in Zexion's ear, "_I_ want to be the Ruler... therefore. I'm gonna have to kill you." He slit Zexion's throat.

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Okay there is this little part. Oh and all of you Zexion lover's Don't get mad I have something in mind... I hope. Review If you like I guess... 


	5. 3: The Third

Here is the real Chapter 3 I'm sorry for the wait I just haven't had too much net time... so the ready to find out more of the addage? is that right? Addage? oh well read it. review if you wish to ke me happy and mucho gracias from this chica. Sorry if it seems short.

don't own kh. i own the rest of the characters and the plot... I guess...

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Chapter 3: The Third...

Demyx was playing dramatic music for the awaiting group as learith opened the door to reveal Axel. there stood Axel, Learith had flattened her hair and... that was the extent of what he had done...

"WTF?" everyone facefaulted. "If that is all you did the why did you take so long?" Zixovi yelled.

"I wanted to put you all in suspence." Learith smilled. Luxord sighed and put the slave collar on Learith. "Let's go slave."

Everyone watched as luxord stalked away... "Huh I thought it was illeagal to keep slaves in T.W.T.N.W." Demyx remarked aftr a while.

"Whatever..." AXel said miserably. "I'm going to see Ixivio. maybe he can make me _me_ again." she noticed Roxas, Xigbar, and Demyx staring... "Stop looking at my chest!" she snatched up the broom and colcocked them with it. She pulled out the police issue handcuffs she always had and managed to catch Zixovi. Once Zixovi caught the look of murder in Axel's eyes... And all that was left were claw marks from Zixovi's nails.

Upstairs in the supeiriors office...

Zexion lay bleeding over his desk... "Muahahahahahahahahaha!!!!" Kronos roared. "Now all I have to do is kill that little brat and I'll be king of this world!"

"Do you really think so? Because i'm not quite sure that you killed me." Zexion appeared in the corner. Kronos looked back and forth between the corpse and the Zexion in the corner... another one appeared in the next corner. and another.

"WTF is going on here?" Kronos sttared wide eyed.

"I know what you were up to. You'll have to kill everyone of us if you want me dead."

"Damn you Zexion!!!!!"

Moron. Zexion thought as he teleported out of the room. The sound of Kronos bellowing in rage thundered on the other side of the door. _He'd have to kill the whole organization in order to rule this world._

_But the if that is true... Z_exion's shoulder angel pipped up, _that would make **SORA**the leader of The W.T.N.W._

Zexion paled considerably before he ran to find Xigbar.

In the kitchen.

Zexion found Xigbar in the Kitchen trying to drown Demyx. this wasn't really working due to the fact that Demyx had just discovered that he could breathe underwater... _again._

"Xigbar I have bad news." Zexion said shakily. "We are not the true Rulers of The W.T.N.W."

Xigbar gasped and dropped Demyx. "What do you mean?"

"Well remember those Dwarves that we booted out of here when we first took over? Remember how we killed the leader?"

"Yeah that is how we've come to the point that we have come to today. As this world's rightful leaders."

"But we aren't. SORA is the leader of this world he killed every single one of us...Well sort of..."

"Nooooooooooooooo! you can't be serious!!!" Demyx cried.

"I am. we are gouing to have to kill sora if we want to stay here."

"I'll grab my guns." Xigbar nodded.

"Alright then meet in the CFSOTK Room in 10 minutes." Zexion called after them.

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well there's what i got ok? please don't be mad at me for the shortnes of it. i'll come back with more next week some time. 


	6. The Ride

Okay i think that it's about time i said thris. I am having temporary computer problems.i wll update asap ok? But for now here is this...

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D.C. sat at the colisuenm thinkg hard over the blank pad of paper. _stupid writer's block. don't own anykh stuff just the p[lot and the characters capich? and pardon the spelling errors at the time. i am being rushed._

3.5 the ride.

"Arer we there yet? " Demyx whinned.

"No." Zexion said cursing at the controls of the death gummi. "I can't find the start button." he glared at the dashboard.

Xigbar sighed an turned the key. "Zexion you do have your drivers license right?" he asked as the ship purred.

Zexion gave him the evil eye. "Of course i have my driver's license." he snapped.

"Then why didn't you know where the key was?" Xibar snickered.

"Look I am being rushed here. We have to get rid of that punk before the wedding and i would prefer to do it whhile he is asleep." Zexion stepped on the gas and caused Xigbar to slam head first into the dashboard. "Aw fk!" Xigbar growled.

"Watch out for that meteor!!!" Demyx screamed.

"Meteor? Where?!" bothe Xigbar and Zexion cried looking around.

"Haha! I can't beleive you fell for that!" Demyx staarted laughing.

"DEMYX!!"

Demyx's eyes grew wide as they aproached him. "Uh Guys..." he pointed out the window.

"Oh no we're not falling for that again." Xigbar pulleed out his laser gun. "Hey Zex how about we give him a tattoo?"

"Guys!!!" Demyx whispered palely. "Its... its..."

"Yeah... how about a cute little kitty on his chest." Zexion made the image appear.

"For your information i like cats." Demyx said forgetting about the thing he was pointing at. Thats about when the ship began to shudder violently.

"What the--?!" Zexion said turning around to gaze in fear.

"Holy..." Xigbar whispewred as he begeld the blackhole that Demyx had tried to warn them about.

All three of them began to scream. they held on tho one another screaming like little girls as the blackhole sucked them in.

"We're going to die!" Demyx cried teaars running down his face.

"I never thought that it would end like this!!!" Zexion wept into Xigbar's shoulder.

"Demyx... I'm sorry for teasing you so much."

that's about where the black hole swallowed them whole.

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that is where im leaving you for right now. i will try to get the next section posted as ssoon as i can. review please! 


	7. The Bet

im still having issues with the computer thingy. so here is the next segament. disclaimer still hasn't changed and so you know the drill!

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Chapter 3.1113514 The Bet (Yeah I know it's out of line.)

At the Never Was...

Axel was roughly the shade of burgundy as she topped the stairs. _Why am I doing this again? _Axel thought as the guys turned to face her.

"OMG." Was all Marluxia coiuld say.

Ixivio looked sckeptically at Axel. "You'll do." He said with a scoff.

"Excuse me?" Axel said glaring at Ixivio. "Do you have any idea how long it took me to do this?!"

"An hour and fifteen minutes twenty-two seconds."

"Yeah well I'd like to see you in a dress. I bet that you guys wouldn't last half a day in a dress!" Axel yelled at them as they began to snicker.

"You're on!" Marluxia took the bait. "If we last half a day in drag you have to..." Marluxia tried to think of thier wagger.

"Drink this." Zixovi said with an evil look on his face.

"It ain't anymore of that chick crap is it?" Axel glared.

"No. this is much much worse and there is no cure for this one." Zixovi kissed the vial.

"Fine but you you lose... You have to do whatever horrible task I come up with..."

"Deal." Ixivio shook hands with Axel.

"Come on lets go." Marluxia grabbed the othe two and hauled thm into no man's land... The ladies dressing room.

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At Castle Oblivion...

All of the ladies were roaring with laughter. The authoress included. Fexane was laughing despite the fact that she was blindfolded.

"See I told you that it was worth placing camera's all over the castle." Felixa smiled smugly.

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R&R 


	8. the fourth

Here is a longer chapter so enjoy!!!!!

you know the drill with the disclaimer. I only own the plot and my oc's. Remember it!

thank you so much to all of my reviewers!!!! I love you all like family!!!!

* * *

The death gummi flew out of the black hole going way too fast. but at the second noone really cared. they were trying to fight off the demons that were currently attacking the ship and were trying to kill the crew inside.

"Die you sons of bitches!!!!" Demyx screamed shooting at them with a flame thrower that he had stolen from Xigbar.

There was a loud crash as the windshield was smashed in by another demon. "Demyx!" both Pilane and Zexion screamed.

**(Eris: Wait when did she get here? D.C.: Not now.)**

"We are so going to die!!!!" Zexion screeched as he ducked the hell blade it was swinging. Xigbar shot at the demon. it roared in pain and grabbed at Pilane as it fell out the window into inter-space.

"Pilane!!!!" Demyx leaped over Zexion and grabbed her wrist.

"Demyx!!!" Zexion yelled and grabbed Demyx's legs.

"Demyx I'm slipping!"

"No I won't lose you again!!!" He cried tears running down his cheeks.

"You idiot!" Zexion growled as he slid even further.

"Good bye Demyx." Pilane whispered and let go.

"PILANE!!!!" Demyx roared as Zexion struggled to pull him into the ship. When he had finally pulled him in Demyx Pulled out his sitar and cracked Zexion over the head with it.

Xigbar was in a doomed match against the last two demons. "I didn't think that they would eat my guns..." He said as he backed into a corner... Demyx yelled and threw the broken sitar at the Demons. The turned around and moved towards him...

Xigbar went pale as he caught a glance at Demyx throught the two demons... "Demyx...?"

Demyx's eyes had gone black with rage... there was an aura coming off of him that made the others cringe... (Well not Zexion, he's out cold) Xigbar thought to try to find a hiding place. but before he could the oddest, creepiest thing that Xigbar ever saw happened.

Blood started gushing out of every opening (and wound) on the demon's bodies. Xigbar watched as every last drop of liquid had been drained from the demons and had formed into a pool around Demyx's feet. The dehydrated husks fell to the floor as two piles of ash...

Demyx passed out. Xigbar stared in fear at the scene before he noticed the view form out side the ship. "OMG!!!!!" he screamed and grabbed the steering wheel just in time to stop the gummi for the nose dive that it had been in... only to crash it into the beach.

Xigbar pried himself from the dashboard and managed to stagger out of the ship.

"Hey Xigbar!" Marluxia called coming over. He stopped halfway as he stared in horror at the gummi ship. "OMG. What happened to Xenmas' ship?! He's sooo gonna kill you!"

"Oh... just a couple of demons." Xigbar shrugged.

When Marluxia came even closer he noticed the blood and gore. "I see... Your doing?"

"Actually It was Demyx."

Marluxia raised a brow. "Demyx. You're joking right?"

"Remind me to NEVER piss him off again." Xigbar shuddered. Then he finally noticed what Marluxia was wearing. "Uh.. Marluxia... You do know you're wearing a dress right?"

"Unfortunately."

"WHY?!"

"Ixivio, Zixovi, and I made a bet with Axel."

"Right... Say have you seen Sora?"

"Yeah he's at work right now."

"Work?" Xigbar frowned. "What did he get tired of saving the world?"

"No you all have been too busy fighting the Forgotten that you haven't been causing mischief." Marluxia explained.

"Right... I'll mention it at the next meeting." Xigbar mumbled.

"So... care to show me where to find Sora?"

* * *

Over at the Papu Resort and Casino...

Xigbar stood snickering at Sora.

Sora finally noticed him and pulled out the keyblade. "Look just attack me already. This is embarassing enough." He pointed out his clothes. He was wearing a pair of short shorts, roman style sandals and a bow tie.

"Buwahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!! I'm sorry I can't you just look to rediculous!!!!!"

"Then what the heck do you want besides mocking me?"

"Okay... okay..." Xigbar struggled to gather himself. "Look. You took something with you when you left the NeverWas. It was a rod..."

"I didn't take nothing."

"Liar. Now look I need that rod Okay?"

"I aint got it." Sora said pouring another drink for a kid.

"Did It have a jackal like figure on it?" The kid asked.

"Kenta!" Sora yelled pouring the lemonade on the kid.

"Yes!" Xigbar yelled.

Sora sweated a little. "Fine so I have seen that rod of yours. It just freaking appeared in in my pocket. Itried trhowing it out several times because it creeps the heck out of me but it kept showing back up in my room."

"Sooo... wheere is it?"

"My brother stole it. It had one of those 'If found return to this address' things on it and he said that he was going to send it there."

"You have a brother?!"

"Yeah but he's only my half brother. My parents are devorced."

"Here's his address good luck finding you _rod_." Sora snickered.

* * *

At Sora's brother's house.

"And I thought that the NeverWas was spooky." Marluxia commented as sooon as he saw the house.

"This place looks like it should be in halloween town"

"You're right." Demyx said poping up out of nowhere.

"Geez don't do that!" Marluxia hit him.

Then out of the blue lightniing began to flash. Xigbar and Demyx cringed. Maluxia sighed and pointed to the roof. "Larxene? Why are you doing that?"

The other two face faulted. "WTF?!"

"I Was paid $50 to do it. so leave me alone" she stuck her tounge out at him.

* * *

And that is where i'm going to leave off for now. I hope you liked it. I'm open to suggestions and critism. and I **NEED** a name for Sora's brother. so read and review ok?


	9. Sora's other family

I AM ALIVE!!!! YES IT IS I D.C. BACK TO BRING YOU ANOTHER WASTED HOUR ON THE DAY OF MRKLY'S WEDDING!

okay then I've walked 2.5 miles in -16 degree weather because this chapter has been haunting me. so with out further ado here is chapter whatever it is... um... oh drat it what was the number?

A/N: i do not own KH of the Keebler Elves. Ixivio, half of Talyn (ty goldentalesgeek), Lynx, Tsusai and Ouna.. and the ever deviant Kronos. oh and i own the plot! many thanx to my reveiwers. Especially Firestorm studios. P.m me if youre reading this!

sorry for the shortness of the chapter. i'm terying my best to get this posted with limited time.. okay shutting up.

* * *

Oh I remember now! Its chapter 5! Um... Sora's Father's Other Family.

Zexion hesitanly knock on the door. it was opened shortly by...

"Sora?! i thought that you were at work..." Xigbar stared at 'Sora'

"Um Xigy that is not Sora." Demyx whispered to him.

"I'm sorry but Sora's sat work right now... Im his sister Ouna." the dopple ganger smiled.

"Ouna whos here?" A man asked dbefore stepping into view. The foursome facefaulted . _OMG thats Soras father?!! he looks exactly like Roxas!_ Zexion, Marluxia, Demyx and Xigbar thought unaminously. He smiled at them brightly "You must be Sora's friends. I'm his father Tsusai Hikari. I'm sorry but Sora's at work right now."

"Uh thats okay. We're actually here to see his brother Talyn." Demyx smiled.

0.0 "Look out!" Tsusai ducked. The others obeyed except for Xigbar who tunred to get a facefull of cookie dough.

"That is our finall warning! We attack in an hour!" a small elf yelled before taking off.

"Yeah well you'll never get my recipe!!!" a teen yeelled from the upstairs window.

"Yeah!" another echoed.

"Talyn you've got visitors!" Tsusai called.

"Okay..." The black haired youth replied sliding dowm the banister.

"Doesn't any of you walk?" another green haired kid sighed as he walked down.

"UH NO."

"Okay... but when that railing snaps under you i'm gonna laugh my head off."

"Whatever Lynx."

:p Lynx stuck his tounge out at Talyn.

"So whats up?" Talyn smiled at the group of nobodies before him.

"And so you see we need that rod back from you ." Zexion finished explaining the whole shebang. "So where is it?"

Talyn and Lynx traded looks and began to sweat. "Uh... funny thing about that... Remeber those elves?"

"I sure do." Xigbar said pickin off cookie dough.

"They have you're rod."

"WHAT?!"

Meanwhile at the Neverwas...

""Give me the conrtoller Roxas! It's my turn!!!" Xenmas whiled trying to get the ps2 controller from Roxas.

"No wat small fry. This is rated Pg-13."

"I'm 38 yeasrs old!!"

"No... Last time i checked you were eight." :p

"Roxas!!!!" Xenmas begged with tears in his eyes.

"N--" Roxas was cut off by the door slamming open to revel the one and only...

"Kronos!" the two yelled.

"ready to die? Muahahaha!!!!!" Kronos ran at them brandishing an axe.

0.0 "RUN!!!" Roxas yelled pulling Xenmas along with him.

* * *

That;'s all i can manage to type at this moment... rotten b#$( I Want more computer time!!!!!

Bbl hopefully i can post again sometime soon...


	10. Tell me a story

Hola everyone! its me again. I ant really got much to say but here it is:

MANY THANKS TO Firestorm studios. He wrote this chpter.

Nope dont own nothing. just the ocs

* * *

At the Neverwas...

Roxas and Xenmas were currently hiding in a closet form our dear friend Kronos. Roxas, was pissed at Xenmas. For you see after running around the castle for atleast the second time Xenmas pointed out the fact that they could use a portal. after teleporting to a storage closet they were finally able to get some rest.

"I'm bored." Xenmas grumbled. "And tired."

"So what. Theres nothing I can do about it." Roxas glared.

"Why don't you tell me a story?" Xenmas begged.

"Are you 8 or 38?"

"Body or mind?" Xenmas countered Roxas' retort.

"Fine... Welll um... theres was one time a couple weeks ago...

* * *

Ixivio walked to the front door, and opened it to reveal Marluxia,wearing a girl scout uniform with a box of cookies.

"Oh, hey Marluxia," Ixivio said, rubbing his throbbing head. "I thought you were quitting the cookie selling business when you got married."

Marluxia held up a clipboard. "Actually, I have. This is to sign people up for the selling of cookies."

Roxas joined him. "Ixivio and I won last year... I'd sign up again. Lots of fun."

Marluxia smiled. "Right, but new rules say you have to have a team of 3 to enter."

At that point Zixovi walked up to them. "What's going- ARGH!" He yelled as Ixivio and Roxas grabbed him.

"See? We do have a team of 3!"

The Next Day...

"This SUCKS!" Zixovi roared to that tree on the other side of thecarpark. "I need some action!"

Unfortunately, at that moment Kronos walked up to them with Exisol/Exrin and Learith behind. "Well well well." He said, the three circling their bench. "If it aint these punks butting in in OUR cookie selling turf!" He held up a box labeled 'The Forgotten's quality old-time extra chewy cookies'

Roxas, Ixivio and Zixovi stood up. "That's the last straw, Kronos. This is OUR cookie selling turf!" He roared. Zixovi grinned evily, and summoned Heaven's Minute and Earth's Hour. Ixivio strapped some pink brass knuckles to his hands, and Roxas managed to pull out an old time flintlock rifle from nowhere.

"Roxas, where'd you get that?" Ixivio, asked, surprised.

"I stole it from Xigbar's collection."

The Forgotten presented their weapons, which included a baseball bat, a bow plus numerous arrows, and a hand grenade.

They were about to charge when they heard a yell. They turned to see Sora, Riku and Kairi approaching with the Kingdom Key, Way To Dawn and Flower Power Kairi's flowery Keyblade respectively.

"If you're gonna have a fight, don't forget team Protagonists with me, lead seller SORA!" he said, as he and his friends prepared themselves.

"You dirtbags came in 3rd place last year!" Kronos yelled to them as they took their place in a triangle.

"Yeah?" Sora asked, brandishing the Kingdom Key. "Well this year, we're gonna come first, 'cause there aint gonna be anyone else left!"

"ALRIGHT!" Zixovi roared. "LET'S DO THIS!"

"NOT SO FAST, HALF-BREEDS!" A voice yelled. The 3 warring clans turned to see Cloud Strife, Sephiroth and Squall Leonheart approaching with oversized Buster Sword, far-too-long Masmamune and hybrid Gunblade respectively. "THE FANTASY COOKIE TEAM IS TAKING A BREAK FROM IT'S SELLING DRIVE TO KICK SOME CLONE AND NOBODY ASS!"

But the 4 teams had no time to fight as they heard a high-pitched call for attention coming from Wal-Mart's second level. Mickey Mouse, Goofy and Donald came down the the stairs with Keyblade, Shield, and Staff.

"Bring it, bitches!" Mickey yelled in his highed pitched voice. "Disney Cookies is here! Let's show them the power of the King, Knight and Wizard, boys!"

"Well," Sephiroth said. "Looks like we got ourselves a multi-species slaughter."

As the 5 groups made a circle, Ixivio walked into the circle. "No rules. That's it." He said, and walked back to his group.

"BEGIN!" Ixivio yelled, Mickey Mouse made a loud war cry, and the 5 groups ran in to all out war.

* * *

"Ooooh! What happened?" Xenmas said wide eyed.

"Well-" Roxas began only to be stopped by the door bursting into several pieces.

"Aw c'mon!!!!" Xenmas groaned at Kronos. "He was just getting to the best part!!!"

"You wanna know who won?! You fkrs did! if that stupid fairy hadn't blown us up we woulda pwned your cheating arses!" Kronos roared.

Xenmas gave him the evil eye. "Thanks for ruining the story jerk!!!" the eight year old yelled as he opened a portall under Kronos. Kronos fell throught with a scream. "Come on." Xenmas said to a wide eyed Roxas. "Lets go get some Ice cream."

* * *

BBL asap thank you for the wait.


	11. Show down of idiocy

I do not own KH or Keebler. many thanks to my reviewers! Mwa!

* * *

Showdown of Idiocy

Okey dokey! back to the crew on The Destiny Isles...

Marluxia, Zexion, Demyx Talyn and Lynx stood in the yard, weapons drawn watching in all directions for the Keebler elves to return.

"I hear something..." Zexion frowned. _Why the hell do i smell cereal...?_

"Uh theres a limmo coming down the street." Xigbar said from his veiw point on the roof.

The Limmo went to make the turn in the little culdisac but ended up getting stuck. A long stream of curses cam from inside and three people plus the driver leapt out. Welll... uh.. little people...

"Is that snap, crackle and pop?" Demyx stated the almost obvious

"Nooo." Pop said sarcasticly. "Its Tony the tiger, Count Chocula, and Tucan Sam."

"What the Frell are you doing here?" Marluxia asked.

"Our grandad asked up to take out aome punk named Talyn." Crackle took out a photograph "Thats the guy right there." He nodded at Lynx.

"Um... IM Lynx..." He squeaked as Snap pulled out a grenade launcher. Snap set the snipers aim on Lynx while everyone dodged. O.O - Lynx vanished from sight.

"He's right man." Pop whacked Snap in the back of the head. "That guy over there is that Talyn dude."

"Oh."

Demyx Cracked his sitar over Crackle's head. "It looks like you need glasses man." The noboody snickered.

"Yeowch man that hurt!"

"That hurt? Ha try this." Demyx smirked. "Dance water, Dance!"

"Well that takes care of them." Marluxia shruged. "But wheres that rod at?"

"Uh.. Help?" Talyn tried getting the nobodies attenion as A bunch of Elves jumped him.

"Do we really need that rod Zexion?" Xigbar asked twirling his gun.

"Hello? A little help here!" the elves began to tie Talyn up.

"Well it does have the deed to the Neverwas in it..." Zexion began to think.

"Help!" Talyn Pleaded as he bit elf.

"Its not like anyone else knows how to open the damn thing anyways..." he added.

"HEY MORONS WITHOUT HEARTS!" Talyn threw the elf at Zexion's head with his teeth.

"WHAT?! Can't you see that we're busy over here?!" Zexion yelled at him. His eyes widened as he saw Ernie the elf atbout to bash Talyn in the head with... "The rod!" He leapt into the fray beating keeblers left and right to trow himself at the rod. the two tumbled to the gorund Ernie at one end of the rod Zexion on the other.

"Let go of the rod." Zexion growled at the elf.

"Its mine pathetic mortal!"

"Give it up you little cookie baker form Hell!" Zeion pulled on the rod.

"Never!"

"Oh for crying out loud already. You guys are going to wake up Kuro." A Female voice said before ko'ing both Zexion and The Keebler.

Everyone face faulted. "Uh say sis?" Talyn said after being untied. "By any chance could you give these guy that rod thingy?"

"Oh this? Sure here ya go." she gave it to Xigbar with a smile.

* * *

Well Ima try to get another chapter sometime within the next couple of weeks. Tata till then! Happy birthday to me!


	12. Temporal Conclusions and Delivery

Disclaimer: You should already know the deal. Noone on this bloody site own kingdom hearts!

Here is the latest chapter for ya. Delivered piping fresh! Enjoy! Many thanks to all of the kind and wonderful reveiwers.

* * *

Temporal conculsions and a Delivery.

Currrent time 3:01 Estimated time to Actual wedding time 4 hours 59 minutes and counting. (Lets see... that may take awhile.)

* * *

Roxas and Xenmas sat out side that Neverwas eating their icecream. "So Xenmas _where_ exactly did you send Kronos?" Roxas asked after a while.

"Hm? Oh... I think i sent him to Betwix and between."

"Ah." Roxas said with a nod. As the stared up at the clouds. "I swear its only sunny here two ddays out of the year."

"It is."

"Y'know you're not such a bad guy afterall... well atleast ever since you became a kid that is."

"Hey what the Heck does that mean?!" Xenmas glared at Roxas.

"Just what it means. you were a royal jerk when you were old."

"Gee thanks." the eight year old said sarcastily.

"Eh don't feel to bad now. Everyone but saix thought that about you."

"Note to self: Try hard not to become a crotchety old codger."

Roxas chuckled and then noticed a gummiship coming in for a landing. "Looks like the first of the guests are arriving."

"In a ship that big?!" Xenmas cocked a brow.

""Maybe they have a lot of gifts?" Roxas suggested.

"Yeah right."

The guy that exited the gummiship was wearing lime colored coveralls and was carrying a clipboard. "I've got a delivery for a M. Noboby/Greenscythe."

"He's not here at the current moment but i can sign for the package." Roxas grinned.

"Put your john handcock right there... there... there... there... and here... oh don't forget that one..."

"Thanks you guys for getting rid of those Elves for me." Talyn smiled with relief.

Axel back in his manly form grinned. "Aw it was nothing. I love burning those guys. Its fun and I absolutley Love the smell of cookies."

"Uh... I hate to ask but where is Lynx at anyway?" Talyn asked as he that his green haired companion was missing.

"I belive he was in the kitchen drinking bleach." Ouna said airilly. "Im not too sure why though... but someone oughta go stop him before he kills himself." She said from within her book.

Flashback...

Axel finally had gotten tired of trying to get a guy to kiss her. So she swore she'd just kiss the next guy he saw.

Lynx appeared out of thin air right in front of Axel. "Thank you god." Axel praised then leapt at Lynx and locked lips with him. At first the first thing to go through Lynx's mind was... _Wow!_ But when their lips parted Lynx found himself staring at... "OMFG!" Lynx screamed and vanished as Axel cried "YES I AM BACK!"

End of flashback.

Axel blushed a deep red. "Say guys I think it about time we headed back to the NeverWas to finish our preparations for the wedding."

"Uh... your absolutely right. I can't be late for my own wedding." Marluxia said with a smile. "To the Gummi ships!"

"Aye aye. Though were gonna have alot of explaining to do when Xenmas sees hihs ride."

* * *

"And finally sign here." The guy said pointing to the last line. "Alrighty then Ill start moving these into the Castle for ya." The guy said as roxas collasped on top of a sleeping Xenmas.

"Hey!" The kid protested and shoved him off.

"I'm sorry that was a lot of paperwork."

"Now you know what made me so damn grouchy all the t...ime..." Xenmas trailed off as he noticed the packages the guy was delivering. "Is that what i think it is?" Xenmas said with wide eyes.

"Dude its not a coffin its... Uh... A hope chest yeah thats it they are Hope chests." Roxas said in a choked voice.

"Thirty of them?!"

"Uh i hope..." Roxas swallowed nervously. "But just in case... do you think Axel might have some garlic in the pantry?"

"Lets find out." Xenmas opened a portal and ran through.

* * *

tbc

Well thats it for now see ya in a week or two. Ciao!


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